A Little Staying in Never Hurt Nobody #TheGreatGatsbyTheory

I was on the phone with my mother the other day, and we were having our bi-annual conversation about my life and the trajectory of my goals. As a proper Igbo mother, she lamented on how I can achieve greater, and I need to better my focus. Of course, I exclaimed how focused I am, that I don’t even go out. Everyone who is anyone knows: I’m in hibernation, right? She sighed, and explained that the problem isn’t my going out… it’s my STAYING IN. Pahaha. I still think about it, and laugh. She said, “Whether it’s Ogechi, or Chidinma, or Dorothy… you are always celebrating!” Lol. We have a lot to celebrate. We work hard, and chop life just as excellently.

Anyway, her hilarious (although, not intended to be funny) remarks made me wonder:

WHEN DID WE, AS MILLENNIALS, BECOME SO RECLUSIVE?

I remember watching the Jordyn Woods interview on Red Table Talk last year, when she explained the evening of events. I recall thinking to myself, “Hmm… her evenings sounds a lot like my evenings.” She basically explained how we as millennials just don’t do clubs anymore. She said they started with happy hour, then continued to the next spot for more drinks, then around the time one would typically head to the club, alternatively, it was time to take it back to someone’s house to really settle into the night.

I am not saying that I’m not a good time gal anymore. However, there was a time that club outings used to be an agenda item of novice. Scarcely (commonly, in some circles) referred to as “going dancing,” more social outing revolved around the meeting of new people, large bodies, and amassing a great discomfort from the standing. Maybe it’s the general discomfort that drove me away, honestly. I’m a table service only kind of gal. I need my seats! Generally, moreover, I have noticed a great deal of in-home hosting these days. I am not mad at it, AT ALL. I do think a lot of it comes from the age of social media that we’re in, as well. These days, anything can, and will, be captured for the purpose of personal exploitation. Not to say that it’s done with malicious intent, yet, there is a certain disregard for people’s privacy.

For me, by the time I reached my second year in undergrad, and garnered a handful of student leadership positions, I immediately became cognizant of who saw WHAT. I spent a lot of personal time in my dorm room, and only those closest to me were even so privileged to see me without makeup. Everything I did that related to my personal life was kept in the shadows. I think that same mentality carried over, and fortunately, it has become rather trendy amongst my peers. The comfort level of knowing you’re around people you trust, allows me to feel like I can be my truest self. Those are the moments when I have the most fun. On top of that, when you’re in the comfort of your own home, or someone else’s you can simply be… COMFORTABLE. Attire is optional, going home is optional, and forget about worrying for a ride home. I have an open-door policy in my home.

Tell me we don’t look like the cast of the next Nigerian “Friends.”

Not that this is an advertisement or a personal invitation to my place, but there is something to be said for the way in which we live our lives from the fear and apparent reality of who sees what. I love to stay in, and I love to invite people in, yet, that doesn’t mean I am not super weary about who I let into my spaces. Are we, as millennials, reclusive? Or knowing all that we know now, are we just careful?

To beg my mother’s argument: Yes, I love to stay in and I relish in the quality time of my close friends, because as a modern-day Martha Stewart, I love to have them near and show them how much I appreciate them. We chop life well, because if not us, then whom? Lol.