Not So New Year's Resolution #TheDoubleYES

Wow! Here we are. Who woulda thunk it.

The sight of 2020 has left me starry eyed with an unusual sense of mystification. In other words, I’m HELLA optimistic. I don’t know what it is, but all signs are pointing in the direction that 2020 is going to be MY year. People keep asking me about my new year’s goals. To provide an underwhelming response… this year is all about personal growth. This year is about implementing everything that I learned and practiced in, 2019 into 2020. Last year was the practice round – the J.V. league. Now, it’s time to suit up for varsity, because 2020 is about to be so much clearer.

As I called my friends as my clock struck first in Nigeria, it was beautiful to see everyone in such high spirits in their respective locations bringing in the New Year, in their own unique way. Goodness, did it make me miss them! Wow, there are so many blessings that came in 2019, and I thank God for their patience and understanding, oo. The Lord has been so merciful, and I receive gentle reminders of that every day. 2020 will be a new opportunity. A new chapter in my life will arise, and I am blissfully optimistic of what’s to come. If 2019 has anything to show - when I went into last year with zero expectation - I cannot help but smile when I think about what’s to come.

I know 2020 is going to be a transformative year. There is so much I want to do for those around me, and that starts by being there for them. While my #YearofIntent continues into my next year of life, I am already thinking about 2021. In this year, I will be even more intentional with my time, by being transparent and forthcoming with my calendar. By that, I will consistently ensure that those who are a priority in my life, feel like a priority in my life.

Those who know me well know and understand that my calendar is set well in advance. Typically, that doesn’t allow much time for me to have spontaneous plans. Nine times out of ten, if you ask me to make plans a couple weeks before the end of the month, I would tell you that I’m not available until the next month. It’s true. To be a better version of me, I need to inform those in my life when I make my schedule, and provide dates of availability amply.

Just as well, sitting down with my therapist and mapping my plans and goals has been a God-send. As a business-oriented and analytical person, it is so easy for me to set a business goal, look at it, and calculate the needed steps to achieve it. My own life… not so much. I let the chips fall as they may, more times than not. My therapist helped me apply the same mentality for my career-oriented goals, to my personal life. If I aim to achieve x, y, and z within a certain time frame, what are the steps I am going to make to achieve them?

I call it the “double-yes” (and I hope this theory doesn’t get lost amongst this story. Journalistically, I hope I’m not burying the lead. Lol. But, I am sure I will circle back to this thought process in a later entry.) My “double-yes” process is the certainty that I am saying, “yes,” to the goal, then most importantly, agreeing to the actions needed to accomplish the plan. Yes, I want to see clearer… yes, I will wear glasses. Yes, I want to get married. Yes, I will leave my house once a week. Lol.

Those are just little, YET, MAJOR, changes I am implementing to make my personal life a priority. In addition, I am ensuring that my communication and type of communication remains meaningful. As I have noted before, since leaving social media, the types of interactions I have had have all been so unique. The narcissists in my life have never been clearer, unfortunately. However, my therapist did a great job of opening my eyes to functional communication, and emotional communication.

Basically, functional communication defines the types of conversations we have when we’re looking for the next move, or explaining a project, or making a plan, or coordinating a ride. Adversely, while that helps build teamwork and ethic, the type of relationship building conversation we want to have is: emotional communication. This is when we find ourselves asking someone how their day was, and how certain actions and events made them feel. These are the conversations that help you and said individual grow as a unit. It helps your hearts connect.

Sometimes we get so caught up in the functionality of our communication that when something happens, we automatically jump to the thought, “But, I just spoke to [him/her]!” But, did you really? There are so many moments in my life that I had the regret, and heart dropping feeling that I missed a moment because of the reliability and ease of functional communication. It’s not until we don’t have those moments anymore that we realize how much we missed.

My hope, and my prayer is that I am there, present, for those around me. 2020 is going to be the year that changes things. I put that on God. I know that He will make it happen. God’s Will will be my way. I thank you, God, for life, even when I don’t express it the way I should. Thank you, Lord, for all that you have done, and thank you for what is yet to come.